Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
