Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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