I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
