I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
