Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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