i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
