Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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