You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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