Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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