My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize