dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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