Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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