What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Too much gin, very little bucket
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
