i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
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