best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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