you lied. pity sex is amazing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
