I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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