We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
