I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
