It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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