He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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