I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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