Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
