I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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