There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
