Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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