Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
