just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
