i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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