imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
