CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
