i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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