You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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