help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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