you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
