come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
