By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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