I skipped work to stalk him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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