Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
