Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Found your dick twin last night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
