how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm sobbing to NWA
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
