Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
