he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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