You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize