you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
