She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
