did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
