Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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