Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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