I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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