The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
