YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
