Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
