So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
