i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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