I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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