Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
