"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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