also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
