I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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