Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize