6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
