So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize