Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
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Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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