Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
